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Vacations can be taken with the children without a specific court orders assuming that prior notice has been given to the other parent concerning the children's whereabouts.
The burden is upon the spouse seeking a contribution for fees to first show that he or she has an inability to pay the fees with their own resources.
Generally, efforts towards restricting the divorce are futile.
The grounds of irreconcilable differences are a no fault basis and essentially mean that the marriage has irretrievably broken down as a result of irreconcilable differences.
Practically, however, if you commence a new relationship, it may tend to inflame the situation and make your spouse "dig in" and fight harder.
Additionally, if you expose your children to the new relationship it may tend to confuse and upset them and may affect custody decisions.